Freedom Homeschooling

Homeschooler Survey

by | Mar 28, 2019 | humor & sarcasm | 2 comments

To better serve our readers, we’d like to know a little about you and your family. Please take a few moments to answer this brief survey. Simply print the survey and circle your answers with black ink. Don’t worry; your answers will be kept strictly confidential.


1. How many children do you have?

a) 10 to 15
b) 16 to 20
c) 20 to 25
d) 26+


2. What type of automobile does your family own?

a) One 15 passenger van
b) Multiple 15 passenger vans
c) A bus
d) None. We never leave the compound.


3. Which of these best describes your family’s home?

a) RV
b) Off-grid cabin or tiny home
c) Underground bunker
d) Cave
e) Sprawling mansion with a separate wing for each sister wife and her children


4. How many years’ worth of food, ammunition, and other supplies are currently stored in your doomsday shelter?

a) 1 or 2 years
b) 3 to 5 years
c) 6 to 10 years
d) 11+ years


5. How does your family obtain its food? (Choose all that apply.)

a) Foraging
b) Hunting
c) Farming
d) Gardening
e) Extreme couponing


6. How often do your children visit the doctor?

a) Never. We have an essential oil for everything.
b) Never. There are online tutorials for all medical and dental procedures.
c) Rarely. Only for major surgeries.


7. How many times have your children been exposed to the worldly influence of outsiders (people other than immediate family & other residents of your compound)?

a) About once a year.
b) About once every couple of years.
c) About once every 3 to 5 years.
d) Never


8. Should children learn to read?

a) No. It makes them more easily influenced by outsiders.
b) Yes, but girls should only learn enough to be able to read recipes and sewing patterns.


9. Do you teach your children science?

a) No. All science is make-believe.
b) No. Most science is make-believe and unnecessary.


10. Why have you chosen to homeschool? (Choose all that apply.)

a) So we can completely control and isolate our children.
b) Because we’re hiding from the government.
c) We don’t believe in education.
d) We don’t want our children to be exposed to science or math.
e) School would cut into the 16 hours per day our children spend on chores.
f) Our children would be bullied at school for wearing denim jumpers every day.
g) Our compound’s leader does not allow outside education.


Subitting the Survey

Thank you for participating in our survey! Please place your completed survey in a sealed envelope. A courier pigeon will arrive within a fortnight to retrieve it and deliver it to our headquarters. Do not attempt to email or mail your survey to us. These forms of communication can not be trusted.


homeschooler survey


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